Should I want to level up my business? (A note to the coaches)
“Know thyself” is a phrase I use often in client sessions. I didn’t realize it had been attributed to Socrates until I tossed it into Google. What can I say, I live under a rock sometimes.
The phrase has lasted for a reason. It captures the essence of what we do when coaching is done well, not answering these kinds of questions, not teaching, fixing, or getting our client somewhere, but creating a space where self-awareness can emerge and take root.
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how much of the coaching and personal development industry has drifted toward performance: endless “levelling up,” quick fixes, breakthroughs, and clever formulas for “getting results.” Many of these models depend on a subtle message that something’s wrong with you that you need to change, upgrade, or buy the next version of yourself.
This troubles me. Because when people don’t have a rooted sense of self, they become more vulnerable to those narratives.
When I’m working with founders, I’ve noticed they are prone to ask the question, “Should I want to level up my business? I’m feeling pretty comfortable right now.”
It’s a question that’s both honest and revealing, one that exposes how deeply the “growth mindset” culture has embedded itself into our worth.
As coaches, our work isn’t to answer these questions, but to reframe them so they become useful to our clients. We hold the space for inquiry, unattached to outcome, trusting the client’s own inner compass to guide what’s next.
When done well, this isn’t just a series of questions, it’s a field of presence. A place where awareness, embodiment, and truth-telling come together.
When I’m working here, I’m not trying to get someone to “do more.” I’m inviting them to see more, the patterns, assumptions, and identities shaping their way of being. That kind of seeing builds capacity. It nurtures self-advocacy, discernment, and conscious choice.
There’s a complexity here that snake-oil versions of coaching can’t touch. It’s not transactional. It’s transformational. (Not the sleazy kind.) The conversation itself becomes a mirror and a practice in “knowing thyself.”
And here’s the part I’ve come to understand more deeply over the years, knowing ourselves isn’t just a cognitive exercise. It’s somatic.
When we know ourselves, we can feel it in our body. That’s what allows us to discern truth from performance, alignment from avoidance.
Psychotherapist Ailey Jolie expressed this beautifully in the context of self-regulation, but it resonates with the work of knowing oneself:
“True nervous system regulation creates more capacity for your authentic self to emerge… Regulation as compliance teaches you to manage your authentic responses in the service of appearing healed or keeping others comfortable… The world doesn’t need more regulated people who can endure anything with serenity — it needs embodied people who can distinguish between what serves their genuine self and what serves someone else’s comfort.”
That’s it.
This is the work.
To coach in a way that calls people home to themselves, body, mind, and being. To walk the same path we invite our clients to walk. To know ourselves, not as an idea, but as a living practice.
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