September 30th in Canada, marks the National Day for Truth and Reconciliation. It is a day to honour the children who never returned home and the Survivors of residential schools, as well as their families and communities. Commemoration of our tragic and painful history and the ongoing impact of residential schools is a vital component of our reconciliation process. It’s a huge part of our home life too as we both work within the First Nation and Indigenous Communities and witness first hand the ongoing impact, graceful people doing the best they can to language, culture and heritage
What We Can Do Is Be
Sit with your discomfort regarding this topic and then sit some more. Watch yourself in the struggle of, “how long do we have to sit here?” “Can’t we do something already?” “Isn’t it time we moved forward from here?” Take a minute to reflect on the amount of discomfort you are experiencing and your impatience to do something. Reflect on the irony here. Imagine your own children torn from your arms, their hair cut, the clothing you chose for them ripped from their small bodies and the grief and anguish this caused for years. Then consider your own discomfort and desire to be “done with this already”. Audacious isn’t it?
Commit To Learning
I am learning and I feel clumsy. I struggle with the words to use and the ways to communicate and yet I’m committed to learning as simply what needs to happen in order for me to be an active participant in this journey vs sitting on the sidelines watching it. I’ve built up many resources to educate myself which I’ll share below.
Resource: Victoria Orange Shirt Day
In 2016 I made my first commitment to Truth and Reconciliation by sitting down for coffee with friends, Eddie Charlie, residential school survivor and Kristin Spray who started Victoria Orange Shirt Day in 2015 while attending the Indigenous Studies program at Camosun College. Eddie was really struggling with his grief and trauma at the time but I’ll never forget his commitment to sharing his story with me. It was one of the toughest conversations I’ve ever witnessed, his passion shining through his grief.
The journey has not been easy for them, they have been shamed, chased, booed and screamed at and yet the two of them persevered. After graduating in 2017 they continued to recognized the sacrifices of residential school survivors by bringing the event to the City of Victoria. Check out their amazing work here and purchase a tshirt…
Resource: Phyllis Webstad
Several weeks later I attended a presentation given by Phyllis Webstad the Founder and Ambassador of the Orange Shirt Society. Phyllis tours the country telling her story and raising awareness about the impacts of the residential school system. Phyllis is Northern Secwpemc (Shuswap) from the Stswecem’c Xgat’tem First Nation (Canoe Creek Indian Band) and comes from mixed Secwepemc and Irish/French heritage. You can read more about Phyllis and her courageous work on her WEBSITE.
Resource: Indigenous Corporate Training Inc.
These conversations stirred up my desire to do my part and several years ago I took a pledge putting my promise into action by asking, “In what ways have I kept my pledge this week/month/year?” You can take your own pledge by visiting Indigenous Corporate Training Inc. and gain access to their many online courses and free resources.
Below is my pledge and also 23 Tips that have supported me to become a little more eloquent with my speaking.
Personal-Pledge-of-Reconciliation.pdf
23-Tips-on-What-Not-to-Say-or-Do-When-Working-With-Indigenous-Peoples.pdf
Resource: Whiteness At Work, The Adaway Group
Over the years I kept experiencing Diversity, Equity, Inclusion work intersecting with Truth and Reconciliation. Following a hunch, I attended an intense and rigorous training presented by the vivacious and brilliant Desiree Adaway which I highly recommend that is easily transferable to your journey in Truth and Reconciliation work.
Resource: The Greater Us
This training was intellectual and experiential, combining research-based understandings of the issues with innovative, reflective approaches to change. Being in this sticky, uncomfortable work promotes cultures of equity and inclusion and helped me to uncover my very naive blindspots.
Resource: On Being Podcast
In this podcast Krista Tippett (On Being) hosts Robin DiAngelo and Resmaa Menakem. Robin, author of White Fragility and
“the foremost white voice in our civilization grappling with whiteness.” Resmaa’s book, My Grandmother’s Hands, “and his original insights into racialized trauma in all kinds of bodies, have offered new ways forward for us all.” This conversation is not comfortable, but it is electric and it opens possibility.
The work worked, my eyes are open, my heart engaged and I’m committed to this life long journey fulfilling on my purpose, World At Peace.
What about you?
Canada Day has always been a special day for me, specifically one of profound love for my country and deep gratitude. My family immigrated from Scotland in 1974, sponsored by my generous Aunt and Uncle, Charles & Moira White. I’ll never forget that first car ride from the Victoria Airport on Vancouver Island as my Uncle narrated the sights, pointing out landmarks along the way. I remember looking on with awe as we passed through lush farms, brilliant green forests and pristine lakes and just when I thought it couldn’t get any more beautiful, it did. Snowy mountains seemed to stand on guard at every clearing, their stony sides falling into dark blue oceans. It was an incredible sight for our travel weary eyes and homesick hearts. Although these were foreign sights, I fell in love with it all. As I watched mesmerised, I whispered “home”, trying it on for size, giving my heart permission to feel the conflicting tug of its strings.
Seeking opportunity for our family that we wouldn’t ordinarily have had, my Dad let love lead him to Canada. Despite a sense that we’d left home for a country that soon would become home, settling had its share of challenges and I found myself cycling through the 5 Stages of Culture Shock from euphoria to disenchantment to adjustment and eventually to acceptance all wrapped up in a million happy memories along the way.
It was all worth it and today on this particular Canada Day I am grateful that I live in a country that:
- Cherishes diversity over conformity
- Values equality and justice, safety and peace
- Encourages openness, respect and compassion
- Fosters a willingness to work hard and to be there for each other
- Believes that immigration is critical to our economic success
- Proudly says sorry, boosting happiness and strengthening relationships
- Supports and stands for the human rights of LGBTQIA2S persons in the international arena
On Canada Day, I found myself in a different place than I ever had before. I love our country, grateful to have been granted citizenship many years ago.
Today and since that day, I have found a way express my gratitude for grateful it began with people who knew how to truly care for it and I’m glad their voices are finally ringing louder and that we have begun to listen. We have far to go and we are on our way.
When I’d normally be the one sporting red and white and temporary Canada Day tattoos I found that I couldn’t do it in good conscience. I’m in conflict with our flag and questioning old customs. If you’ve embarked on your own DEI work, one might say that “the work” is working.
While I enjoyed a day to spend with family, my heart full, I direct my loving attention over the work still undone. To Ukraine, Afghanistan, Oslo, to the famine fires and floods and all the upheaval we find ourselves in. I don’t mean this in a negative, ruminating way. What I mean is that when my (your) heart is overflowing my (our) vibration is high and the likelihood of causing what we desire more possible. Peace is my purpose and so my attention naturally turns to that.
I do this practice often and this week took on several random acts of kindness to give it juice.
If you’re skeptical that this works, give it a try and watch love change lives and outcomes before your very eyes.
Today in YYJ (Victoria, BC) my heart’s attention also turns to our police forces as they embark on their healing journey. May their pain and efforts not be in vain and instead be the catalyst for an even closer community and small town spirit to grow stronger.
Let’s also turn our attention to the USA and SCOTUS to support them all to make decisions more grounded in love vs fear, to the future we envision vs a fall back to a fear based past.
The ripple effect of those decisions on oh so many countries tempts us to the edge of hopelessness and resignation but we have the power to resist that temptation and to keep standing for love.
Love IS the most powerful force.
